Friday, December 18, 2009

Prom

so wednesday was prom. =)

it was a good night. an awesome night. =)

the prom committee really did do a good job ler. =)

so photos are basically on facebook.
i don't want to say too much. just that memories are precious. =) and that a picture says a thousand words. all the warmth, comradie. =) irreplaceble.

p.s. so loooking forward to class trip.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

=D

AWESOME TIME TONIGHT. =D

I LOVE MY FRIENDS. <3

its easy to be happy around u. =)

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Dec

Tomoro is the real last day of SPM for many of my friends. I know they're all looking forward to the end of it. Me too! why? because then i get to go out with them. finally. after like forever. =S

ahaha. and after tomoro it will be a super bz 2 weeks for me until the end of this month. everyday also seems like I have something to do or something to prepare for.

But it looks like my January schedule is pretty free. and then the sucky part happens again. No more teman. because everybody is either in NS or they are starting college. all my friends are go do-ers. all gearing up to start their next phase in life.

Looks like we all have to enjoy Dec. cuz things are a changing ppl. =S

gonna try to make the most out of my time with my friends. =)

bz bz bz!! here we go!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Update

okay. i have been lax i know. =D
sorry. can't believe its exactly one month since i last updated.
WILL TRY WILL TRY to update more. =) but no guarantees. =D

so hmm. lets see.

YES IM BACK IN MSIA!! =D HAHA

so awesome!!

i duno what to say lerh..

erm. so i really should update more often. so many things to talk about. =) haha.

ok la most important. to me la. =)
i've started driving lessons!! =)
its really awesome and cool and yea my first day i think i mati engine like 20 times. not joking.
im really bad at it. haha. =) i think im gonna be one of those like bad women drivers that ppl curse at all the time. =D ahaha. well i hope not la. but..... it might happen...... *nervous smile*

so yea. aiya damn lazy to finish my post now.

another thiing im looking forward to is PROM actually. Why? =D
1. i get to see my friends. like many whom i havent seen in a while. so it'll be like a mini reunion! =D
2. it sounds great. really impressed by the prom committees effort. =) of course must praise the head ler.. =D haha. i know she'll make it great. =D ( u noe who u are)
3. its a one in a lifetime experience. kinda. =) haha. i think theres one in college as well?? not sure. and of course i'll have another one next yr in aus. but this one i'll be surrounded by ppl i love and am loved. =D

so yeah. heres to the end of 2009 and welcoming 2010. =D



Thursday, November 12, 2009

Y i <3 MLIA

Today, my daughter had her boyfriend over. After a little while, I heard her scream, "Stick it in! Do you want baby girls or not?" In a panic, I burst into her room to see her boyfriend carefully putting little pink pieces into his tiny car. They were playing Life. MLIA

Today, a friend and I had a discussion about dinosaurs and came to the conclusion that t-rexs were only angry and aggressive because their arms were too short to hug one another. MLIA. aww

Today, I arrived home to find my sister screaming at our dog. Apparently, the dog had completely destroyed her 'Twilight' book. The dogs name is Buffy. I laughed at the irony. MLIA

need i say more? =D

Saturday, November 7, 2009

MLIA

i discovered MLIA. totally addicted.

u can discover it too!
http://mylifeisaverage.com/

still waiting for a story of mine to get published.
so far no luck. =(
MLIA

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Today you guys graduated.

Congrats u guys.

as for me. i have to wait one more year.
boo.

but i love u peeps and it makes me sad i wasnt there to join in the happy sadness.

glorious feelings.

see u all.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

happy birthday bubu

just in case u guys don't know,

bubu is my younger brother.
and that is what i call him.
and no one else can use that name! thats my name for him!
if u want ur own, go get ur own name! dont take mine!

anyway. if u want to know the entire story of how i got bubu..
well i shall tell u..seeing as im so generous today..
erm lets see..ahh..

one fine day, i learned that my bro's classmates called him teddybear,
and feeling left out, i decided that i wanted a nickname for him too!
so i u noe yogi the bear? and his lil sidekick? boo boo?
i thought boo boo fitted my bro!
but i was too long to type in a sms, so i shortened it to bubu.
and there u have it! =D

happy birthday my bubu!
anyway.i hope u have a great sweet sixteen. and God bless ya my dear bubu. =)
so sentimental now as well..
man..really having some weird mood swings these days..
=s

Saturday, October 17, 2009

wat ever happened to jesse mc cartney?
is he forgotten yet??

i think not!!!!!!

i love body language! the tune la, cuz the lyrics are kinda......

and he is cute. though he forgot the lyrics to the national anthem. aha.
watch youtube if you dont know. =)
have a great day everyone!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Top 200 U's

u guys might want to see this.

http://www.timeshighereducation.co.uk/Rankings2009-Top200.html

haha. i always thought it'd be cool if i could go to an ivy league. but nah. too much work.

and u guys might want to scroll to no. 180 to see something. haha.

Monday, October 12, 2009

last day of hols *sob*

i have schoolphobia

schoolphobia=endofholidayphobia

endofholidayphobia=walkingtoschoolphobia

walkingtoschoolphobia=enteringschoolcompoundphobia

enteringschoolcompoundphobia=goingtoclassphobia

goingtoclassphobia=learningphobia

learningphobia=lessonsstayinginmyheadphobia

lessonsstayinginmyheadphobia=havingtoapplystuffIlearntphobia

havingtoapplystuffIlearntphobia=havingtositexamphobia

havingtositexamphobia=educationphobia

educationphobia=schoolphobia




in short. im so dead.



Sunday, October 11, 2009

something

@#$!~IUT@&#%$@#&
maybe i complain alot.
and appreciate too lil.
but still misery maketh a man

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

something i saw

whenever im blue i start to breathe again.
get it?
=)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

graduation

few months back, all i would have been worried bout is spm.
guess i dont have to worry about that now.

but missing out on graduation. sigh.

i remember last year when our seniors were graduating, and being prefects, we got to go and duty. haha. and watch our seniors graduate, and see the memories and stuff. the hugs, the tears, the smiles. everything.

and i remember telling someone how i couldnt imagine going through that the next year. still cant. and i wont experience it with u guys. and that makes me sad.

even though i'd probably be even sadder if i was there now.

Gawd. i remember my last day of school. and walking through the gates, i couldnt believe like i was leaving CHS. and i dint even say bye properly to it. lol. u can laugh now. but yea.

gosh u guys. have a good graduation. say bye to those old dingy buildings. =s


i miss u guys. =)

Friday, October 2, 2009

Untitled

so 1st week of hols is over.
wasted time?
i think not.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

YJ

Happy birthday ko yew juan!!!
haha u should totally feel honoured cuz im doing this post for ya, and since i usually only write one line. everyday now. u should feel honoured that im doing one entire paragraph for ya. =) haha. Ur the best and thx soo much for just being there and for letting me know that i can count on u or che su all the time. Which u guys have totally proven. =) so God bless ya. and yeah. =)
<3

Monday, September 28, 2009

hol/study?

lets all hope i stick to my study schedule. or else im so screwed for finals.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

MIA

today and tomorrow.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

1st day

so. another day.

just want to say u all should listen to stolen by erm i duno. but its on the twilight soundtrack.ahaha. i think it was the song sang by rob pat. so yea.. =)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Give me a H! H!
Give me a O! O!
Give me a L! L!
Give me an I! I!
Give me a D! D!
Give me an A! A!
Give me a Y! Y!
PUT IT TOGETHER WATS THAT SAY?
HOLIDAY! WHHHEEEEEE.
=)

gonna curl up with gossip girl and bury myself for the next 2 days. =)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Now

hey all. i noe its been ages since i updated this blog. but haha im back again!

it was too tiring for me to try to like to upkeep this blog.
so that day as i was typing an email to caleb, i realised that since im updating my faceboook more than my own blog, i should probably like do something about it. so ill probably try to update this blog more than once a week. but it'll be like with one liners. like twitter!and no i dont have twitter, nor do i have an urge to get an account.since like i cant even bother to update my own blog. lol.

for those of u who dont know what twitter is, google it.

yea so....alot has happened in the last 2 months for me.
well i moved from msia to perth, aussie.
and started new school, new subs, new friends.
wont say it was a breeze and stuff. i mean its a whole new life.
but those who noe me, noe i like adventures, and i like trying new stuff.
so yea it was cool i guess, rough at the same time too. and gotta say that i was struggling.
but things have slightly settled i guess. and i feel good enough to blog. haha.

so anyway, my hols are starting this sat.haha. so yea....u guys go back to trials, and i go to holiday!haha..nah..i got to spend this hols catching up on stuff on the first part of the year unfortunately. =s but dont worry..balance is everything. =)

so yeap. get ready to be blasted by a bunch of one liners, or maybe ill slowly progress to small paragraphs. =)

miss u CHS, miss CHS peeps as well.
haha. but. its a start, i miss u less.

all the best for trials everybody.
and those whose trials are over.. well..take a break for awhile..then u noe what u havta do..

<3

Sunday, August 30, 2009

annual dinner 09

wish i could have been there..
the pics look great guys.. =)
and a certain pic seems just to crop up everywhere...seriously...
anyway..it looked fun and im glad i went to one annual dinner at least.. =)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

??

sometimes i dont know what im doing.

wonder what robots do.
how they function.
nope.not gonna be a robot person.
i have a life.

and i plan on using it thank you very much.
so just shut up.

i figured out that:
scratching my brains out doesnt work.

Monday, August 3, 2009

New Scul, New Uni

sorry its blur..
i noe my photo taking skills rock..=)


haha.new uniform..
lol..


so thats my school uniform.u can choose.
between skirt, pants,or shorts.for girls anyway.
it'll be cool to see guys wearing skirts. =p



anyway.adjusting to new environment,new system,new school, new ppl n...........

evil weather.


ok maybe not evil weather.but it sure feels that way.


ol.so.my life is basically boring.


theres not much i want to say.
and theres one thing i nvr thought i'd be saying.
but i miss CHS.
gosh.miss its dirt washed walls, red brick buildings n holey padang.
oh oh..and its newly revonated waste of money toilets..
(but the toilets here better la.as in smellwise....haha)
miss its teachers,miss its sound,
n most of all.
miss the little ppl in it.

haha.



anyway..scul here is kinda tougher.in my opinion la.
lol.or maybe cuz im being forced to study all the time.
we have assesments every now and then that contribute to the final marks.
so u cant slack off.
u have to be persistent.
and also maybe cuz i took 2 new subjects.
which is econs!and eng lit.
econs is interesting.
but.kinda regret taking eng lit.
also maths here is harder.seriously.
and im doing maths and add maths k~~




erm so yea..not much to update.
u guys got any ques?
just ask.
oh and pls do send me emails or msgs.
wanna noe what u guys doing with ur life too ok..


u guys keep saying ppl change ppl change..
well..we wouldnt change if u guys dont change either..
but no..first thing u do is sever contact with the person..
lol..KIT la..




ok. =)
see u.

Friday, July 17, 2009

small update

yoyo.
i noe i dint update at all..hopefully while im here in aus.
u all can start praying that i will update frequently.and with photos. =p
tee hee.

erm.scul hasnt really started.so its kinda boring here.
sigh, not really in the mood to blog..
so its kinda short.

miss all my friends man.
thx so much for the times we had together.
loves!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

bittersweet

well.today was an interesting day.
lol.

em brief note bout monday.
i dint go school cuz i had piano exam.
haha. me ponteng.
and my examiner was super uber nice.
i hope i pass.

haha.
okay. lets see.
got back a lot of results.
bio, chinese, sejarah(kinda)

all also did reasonably okay.
for my standards la.
but i hoped better for chinese.
stupid chinese essay.
if not.....

sigh.no use dwelling on the past.
especially these dumb things.
especially since it wont be of much use to me now.
=(

changes.
not neccesarily a bad thing.
or so i keep trying to convince myself.

i miss u all already!
cant imagine whats it gonna be like.
just trying to put up a brave face for now.
i duno why im the consoler. haha.
buckets of tears conserved up.
trust me.

haha.
oh wait.

this is just in.

BREAKING NEWS EVERYBODY.
I DINT GET NS!!! SO FAR.. =p
haha. ok.that cheered me up for a while.
sigh. see u all tomoro.

Friday, June 19, 2009

twilight saga

Lately been reading twilight saga like crazy again.


all started on hol when i watch twilight movie all over again.
haha. sigh.


alot of ppl tell me they are dissapointed in breaking dawn.

but i gotta admit its my fav book, even better than twilight.
but den again i havent read twilight in a while.
but still. it might be my 2nd.


i guess im a sucker for happy endings. but its more than that.
its the way stephenie meyer writes, its mesmerizing.
i cant put it down.


thats a problem cuz i still have exams but manage to quit for a while last week.
but gonna take advantage of this weekend to go through the book one more time.


breaking dawn.


kirsten stewart, alot of ppl dislike her.
i still like the way she portrays bella.
but in my mind
whenever i read the book, she doesnt fit.
bella is way more, i duno.
and rob pattinson just isnt hot la.
but watv. different ppl different taste i guess.


edward cullen!


as i said b4
i wonder wat forever's like.

Monday, June 15, 2009

exam

i noe i shouldnt be here.
but cant help it. =p
hehe.

physics!
how i loathe u!

okay gotta go.

sorry to kb and sut.
i shouldnt have sprung the news on u guys like that.
real sorry.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Peace

Recently i've been feeling little lost and down
been hitting rock bottom
and felt so desolated.
But today in church, i duno why.
something bout this song really really touched me.
the lyrics just kinda spoke to me
n i just felt His never ending grace and mercy.
and honestly i felt tears coming to my eyes.
so i just want to share it with u guys.

Never give up hope
cuz though all around u is sinking sand
He's ur solid ground
He'll hold u throughout
and never let u fall.

He's been my rock
carrying me,
even when i didnt realise it.
His eternal love
His forgiveness
His everlasting open arms
He touched my heart
no doubt he's ever ready to touch Yours too.
trust me, if u let Him
He'll touch Your Life.

Thank You God
for loving me no matter what i do
for loving me no matter what i say
for forgiving me each time
for loving me so much
for being there
for being patient
for just being Your Amazing Self!

So without further ado:

IN CHRIST ALONE
by Newsboys


In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
this Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
firm through the fiercest drought and storm.
What heights of love, what depths of peace,
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones he came to save:
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.


There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave he rose again!
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine -
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.


No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life's first cry to final breath.
Jesus commands my destiny.
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
Till He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.


here are two links to the song
both were different and
i thought both were beautiful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8welVgKX8Qo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsgwfliQoqg&feature=related

love u peeps
love love love the one watching over me up above.

I'm so amazed
so grateful
so thankful
cuz i noe
I'll always be accepted by You
and never be left behind.
no matter what
You're my true home.

Friday, May 15, 2009

okay.sports day over.

whee.

merah! M1D1! i noe im really slow but yea.. just wanted to add something bout that.

sigh.exams round the corner.and im not done with add maths proj yet!
gonna go do it now. =p


God. im so mad at u now.
i've waited patiently.
and patience isnt one of my virtues.
WTH are u doin?!
im really upset and hurt.
no one can do anything cept u.
n.....
so lost. T_T

Saturday, May 2, 2009

random note:
i love miley cyrus's duet with david arch...
it rocks.

may

its may.
whoa.
back up.
ITS MAY?!

lol. just a constant reminder that months fly by.
anyway. gonna be really bz this month.
cuz first there's sports day next fri
den teachers day the following fri.
den after that its exams....
so scary.

followed by hols la..but still...after hols there's exam again!
sigh. =[

anyway.
april rocked. =p
most of it. =p
hahahaha.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

average


i just read 'if u could see me now' by cecelia ahern.
well..her books are quite quite interesting.
always has a slight tinge of sadness in it.
but in the end its somehow okay.
anyway i quite recommend this book la. its quite nice!!!
well..had an okay okay week.
like i told my dg members
1.pimply
2.lil stressed.
3.brain fried.
4.emo
5.overall pretty happy. =p
hahaha. yea..its not the worst week of my life.
its pretty average.
right now helping out with merah.
its fun. but not pretty at times.
SENDING A SHOUTOUT TO ALL MERAH MEMBERS.
come help! with perbarisan and perhiasan khemah! all of us can contribute!
the more the merrier. the more the happier. =p
sigh.
i just want to say la.
im kinda pissed at both of u.
u are always complaining that we're not close.
but u are never sharing anything with us.
and u somehow expect us to grow closer.
..............................
thats all.
hav a great start to a new week!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

HAPPY 17th YH, SUT, LILY, KB & ED!



haha. yes. the title was wat was written on the cake. and the store actualyl wrote KH not YH so this pic is u can see the mark where they got rid of K. =p hehe.

which is SECRET RECIPE'S cheese choc btw. and sui lun loved it so much he kept eating and eating and eating. oh man. i dont have a photo of him eating and eating =p hahaha.




well basically.wat started out as a not so good day turned out to be a great one! and im sure lots of u agree with me.

im not gonna upload many photos.cuz im lazy. =p hehe. anyway.

first we head to chili's where everyone camwhore alot.



then we split into two. and one group go movie one group go redbox.
and i duno how the movie group did but i heard it was FUN.
=p =p

anyway.those at red box definitely had fun.
and though they really cheat and take alot of our money.
sigh. but FUn!
and we definitely hav to go again another time.
cept that this time we must go on weekday!

=p

really glad all of u had fun
and it was worth it for me too k?


love u peeps!

p.s. vote on my poll!! <---------------------

Friday, April 17, 2009

ponder

well. its been a bz 2 weeks. there's so much to talk about. but i really duno where to start. maybe i'll start from recent events and work my way up to the old ones. if i remember them that is.. =p

em. well most recent i guess would be AJK meeting.
well. the turnout was quite big im happy to say.
and there were alot of problems that we discussed together.
but somehow there werent solutions. well. as we said. we'll all work to resolve them together.
so yea. i think those top ppl.
if u really want a turnaround and a change in out board.
you guys really need to do something and not just listen one ear go out the other.

em. besides that.
i guess involve with MERAH!
whoo merah!!
i will strive and work hard for u ok!

haha. erm. then this week me and sut said we wanted to do our hardworking thing.so far i think its working. maybe around 75% lidat la. =p kb dont laugh k. we did listen in bio after thaat.. =p

sigh...and kb soo funny. teacher teaching variation and constants.
den he go and come up with this equation

that is:
r is less than 3 bhs.

wonder if u guys can figure it out la..=p
haha. i dint get it at first too. till sut explained it to me.

anyway. then last fri, there was one of my oldest buddy's birthday!
we've known each other more than half our lives. and we're still frens!
and she's one of the best ppl i noe, an amazing sportsperson, an amazing artist and has an amazing shoulder to lean on. im glad i noe her and if ur reading this
TAM SHER REN ur awesome!
OMg. talking bout birthdays!
today is an awesome special person's birthday!!!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
its one of my best pals birthday and she's awesome and amazing and all the undescrible cool words there are in the dictionary!
its SHUK'S birthday!
and though i dint wish u at 12..(sorry!)
i think u rock and ur the best and i love u!!!!=p hehe..
just so u noe, she's this cunted drummer, guitarist and future famous musician so yea..
watch out................
ssigh. ok lets see.counting back. ok i cant remember all the awsome things one does in a week la of course!
oh yea. me and sut had a conversation today.
and we were talking about our private blogs.
becca: eh i havent visited my private blog in a while la.
sut: yea me too. u noe that day i went to visit it and i was thinking how childish i was even though i wrote it only a few months back
becca: yea i noe la.
sut: u noe i think i stopped after XXX event happened lo.
becca: ME TOO!
sut: yea. its like that chapter is closed. move on to next chap kind of thing. i wrote that ok this is the end. and after that i dint go back liao.
becca: yea. me too. after XXX event then i kinda like stopped.
sut+becca: sigh.
becca: ahaha we sigh at same time.JINX!
sut: where got such nonsense.
den we started talking normal things again.sigh. i guess private blogs are there for a reason?but i loved reading back la all the old things i did. so i noe how my feelings were at a certain point of time.so i think i shall revive my dearest private blog. =p hehe. all of u cant read so dont bother. =p
ok.tomoro going out with the gang to red box. =p celebrate edrea, kb, sut and lily's bth!
haha. think we're gonna have an awesome time. will blog about it and upload photos.
so wait patiently!. =p

Monday, April 6, 2009

crazy long post

okay. lets see. there's so so much i want to talk about.

em first lets start with my poll
wheteher i can succeed next term in exams or not... <-----
cant believe 40% of u so negative.. =(
hahaha. oh well. i dont believe it myself either.
doesnt matter. im changing the poll now.. =p

erm. next order of business.
CHS prom 2009. i duno whether i wan2 go or not.
hesitating......hesitating......deciding......hesitating.....
sigh..guess i'll wait and see for that one. i definitely wont be able to get early bird tickets liao but oh well..

sigh. dumb nky. he's so annoyingggg.....
scold me and sut and michelle and lly 4 talking in his class today..
well at least we do ur hw! not like the other ppl hu talk but nvr kena catch by u cuz u have some prejudice towards prefects!
pffffffffft.
and den cuz last week during dg, there's this one thing that stuck in my head..
and that was God loves us that he forgives us all our sins anyway.
and therefore we should love others and forgive them too.
cuz if we cant forgive ppl, how can we expect God to forgive us?
so i told sut that and ................yup...so hard to love him...
but he's divorced and we should pity him and love him.. =p
(and i said that loudly and sut was like shut up becca,after he hears u then u will kena. =p)

well talking about forgiveness.
i had a really big lesson about that this year..
but now its time for me to put it into practice again.
there's this fren hu's like mad at me.
and most of the time, its over small stuff.
but well. we always fight and make up.
but this time..i duno..
im too tired of this up and down thing.
and yea. i was really really mad all of a sudden today.(u can ask sut)
i was just like thinking of all the mean things and being really petty.
and now typing out the nky thing just now.
i should apply the same thing to this person too.
so yup. i will. =p

u noe forgiving someone isnt easy.
but once u've done so, its seriously like a burden is lifted off ur shoulders.
and u can breathe again.
and i think that forgiving comes easier with practice. =p
it does. =p

lot of thunderstorms lately. just being random. =p
hahahaha.

oh. im grounded. for a month.
sucks.
but im gonna try to lighten the sentence.
i hope.
either way there's pro's and cons
if i dont go out this month i dont lose MORE money! =p haha.
but if i dont go out i lose out on my frens last birthdays in high school!
but if i dont go out i no need stress planning anymore.
but if i dont go out i lose out on all the fun and things i planned!
but if i dont go out i wont have a hectic month anymore.
but if i dont go out i lose out on all the hecticnesssss. =p

haha.sorry. im that undecisive.just ask shuk and dev.
i think i drove them partially nuts last sat.
anyway.

said all i wanted to say for a while. =p

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Shopping

something i rarely do. and most of the time with my frens. =p

haha. so exhausted today...=p but so happy.. =p

lets see. woke up at 8 plus. cuz had to go out eat breakfast with my younger bro, den both of us were gonna go catch a bus to go to ou.

really fun experience as both of us totally had no clue as to wat we were doing and we were just copying wat the ppl in front of us did. like they took out 2 bucks, den we take out 2 bucks. yup. all in all it was funn.

den reach ou more fun pulak. first we go decide watch wat movie. den dev and shuk not there yet. den realise that fast and furious 18sx i think. or 18pl. wtv. called dev and she again argued that im too young looking to pass for 18 shows...sigh..

so den we met up with dev and went old wing tgv. argued with her i want to watch marley and me. she didnt want to. den she sacrificed for mua....=p haha. den when we went to line up, i was looking down at the screen.and den the guy was fast and furious 12 00 yes? and i was okay. (still looking down) den dev went like i thought we're watching marley and me? so i looked up. and the guy was like just like duno wat to do.. and so we bought marley and me. and dev asked the guy how old he thought i was. and the guy totally dint want to answer..

anyway. we watched marley and me. =p

really nice show. i cried. no biggie. i cry really easily at movies. =p

storyline was a bit slow moving though.and i dont think the movie really projected wat the book did. but i kinda got it. but somehow all turn out nice la.



den did some birthday present shopping. (gah april)
so ya. u guys see wat u get la.. =p hahaha.
and i partially drove dev nuts i think. =p

den dg! yaaaay. den BK! yaay.
den out to dinner with fam.and thunderstorm.
and me kinda worried bout my own dog. cuz he hates thunder and lighting. (just like marley! =p)
haha. but come home all okay.just that my crazy dog is all wet.
and sit and blog. =p hehe.

end of day. =p

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

photoshoot

today's photoshoot rocked! =p

took photos. will upload later.
now i hav to stress finish my chem peka.
ciao.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

crazy day


my teammates



wondering wats the sign board there for? its part of a task. =p

chris practicing her calling taxi skills. =p

lly bored .

resting =p


amazing race is over.. how to describe it? amazing! =p hehe.

even though we dint get any placing, we tried our best and had LOADS of fun!!

it was a great experience and a great time and i love my teammates. =p hehe.
and to show wat a special day this is.
im gonna upload photos! yes. =p

haha. from yucky drinks to getting kind of lost to washing cars to peeling coconuts to cracking lame jokes. it was awesome and we didnt fight. =p right. =p ok maybe small arguments. =p


anyway. today was so fun and im glad i did it with u guys. =p

peeling opening a coconut..NOT EASY KAY!


zz. tired..
gonna sleep early tonight.

tomoro goin bak hometown and i still havent done moral proj. yay! haha.

kidding. getting right on it. now.

till then.

p.s. i typed this on sat but am only posting it now.. =p

ha. and moral proj......

turns out we only hav to pass it up next mon..crazeee..

but im glad i finish it liao..
tomoro hav photoshoot! yay! =p


p.p.s planned to upload more than one photo. but my internet is so freaking slow i give up.
THERE. enjoy the top photo. =p

p.p.p.s. the moment i typed finish p.p.s. the photos finally uploaded..wth...


enjoy.


Thursday, March 26, 2009

brain overload

sigh. results are baccccck..

some good some bad. =[
sigh. oh well...

i wont stress too much on results. cuz..

amazing race chs is this saturday! yay!
really excited. cuz its my first race. =p
haha. and we recently faced some team problems, and its not all solved,
but hopefully it'll all be okay by tomoro!
whee..

duno wat we're gonna face, but im so ready. i think. =p

haha.

man tomoro's gonna be hectic.
first there's amazing race briefing
den there's the annual photoshoot briefing
den we have to take photos for moral proj
and i have to complete setting the duty list.

and on top of that, this weekend, i have to:
FINISH MORAL PROJ
FINISH CHEM PEKA(which i dont have the slightest idea where to begin)
Go Qing Ming.

AHH.

ok. enough freaking out about the pile of things in front of me.

here's some random stuff.
1. i saw a really really really huge rat today. it was like a quarter of my dogs size. and probably half his height. which is crazy. cuz i was walking my dog. =p and den like out of the drain comes the rat and like my dumb dog just stared at the rat, and after it dissapeared den only did he start barking like mad till i had to drag him away.

2. its dennis's birthday! yes he ranks lower than the rat story. =p haha. no la dennis. anyway. happy 17 man and although u cant join us for the race due to ur undang thingy, u still rock! and i really meant wat i said bout not bullying u. =p

3. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
well really its a secret so of course i cant tell la.. but im just putting it here. for fun. and cuz its random! =p yay!

4. i really love my family. cuz even though they annoy me(most of the time!) and drive me BONKERS, they're still there for me all the time and i really appreciate that and though no i dont think of my parents as my bff's (lily =p) i noe i can trust them and yea, thats enough.

random things to talk about over!

bit more serious stuff.
almost a quarter of the year 2009 has passed by.

and during this time, i had to go through wat i can say was one of the toughest chapters in my short life. and i think i came out the better from it.
really had one of the lowest points in my life here. and im glad i got through it okay. =p
not without the help of my friends, family and GOD of cuz!
truly, i really had to turn to God alot, and He was always there and he kept me slightly sane. =p yea. and im so amazed and sorry and so many other feelings but yea.
=p

march's almost over, welcome APRIL!
(though i kinda hate this month, ppl u noe why. =p)

ahaha.

b.

Monday, March 23, 2009

whheeeee

exams are over exams are over exams are over!!!!

stress sudah laaa...i say bye bye!!! =p

hahahha. so happy bio over. i totally regret taking it.
word of advice to those form 3's out there.
if u dont want to do medicine, DONT TAKE PURE SCIENCE!
GO FOR SUB SCIENCE!!ACCOUNTS ROCKS!!!!

=p

truly.

sigh..not enough sleep..i've been saying this for the past few days but still i nvr go sleep.
see even now at 11 im still like totally awake...LOL. and not sleeping. =p

sigh..
alot of projects to catch up on.
moral, chem, and chinese!!yucks..

gonna do do do..sigh..

events just keep on happening.i tell u time is passing by too fast.
"wait for me!"
april liao. =[

i knew that march would past by quickly, due to exams, camp and hols, but still!!!!!!
ahhhhhhhhh. not ready!

p.s.
trying to decide if i should take undang. me thinks that if i want to do it, i should do it by april.
also trying to decide if i wanna get baptised. tough decisions. =[

sorry God. i kinda neglected You.
and thx to that i kinda feel alone right now.
should always look to You.
cuz no one else will do.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Camp. =p

yup yup yup. only thing im gonna blog bout.. is.....camp! =p

haha. okay lets see...

it rained the first day. =( rained sooo hard. sigh.
lily see la. u pray it rain. i pray it dont rain.
so God must have compromised and make it rain the first day and den the other 2 days dint rain during our activities..sheeeeesh... =p

haha. but all in all. it was quite good.
first day very messy and mood depressing due to the rain affecting the obstacle course.
but doing flying fox when its raining hard. first time experience. CUN!. =p
also helps dat i did it with as and she was kinda like ahhhhh. =p.
den night game so badly mixed up. my fault la. cuz one of the clues got screwed badly. dats y after that everything somehow mixed up. so once again. solleeeeeeee.

but 2nd day things looked up! =p haha.
no rain in morning. =p
and station game ran so smoothly...(helps that all form 5's stayed up to like discuss discuss and thoroughly understand their parts. i must say im so happy with all of us and our teamwork. =p )
so den later fun with rafting. =p hehe. super tired after that. arms aching as me and lily n zk take turns to row...cuz we only got one of that rowing things. forgot wats it called. lol.
and night time performance and den night walk.
sooooooooooo tiring la...

and last day abseiling. yea. dint expect it to take so long. the instructors said it will take 2 hours plus become 4 hours plus...crazzzzy....
so yea. most of the form 5 seniors dint get to do it. and thx to u guys for being willing enough to sacrifice. really thx.
and den..go homeeee......... wheeeeeeeeeeeee.........

yay. i went to alot of random other form blogs. most of u havent updated. but those who have make me so happy. alot of positive comments. =p hehe. so glad u guys had fun. even though the first day was a fiasco...=p

well..did alot of scolding this time. lol. cant say i enjoyed it but i think it helped me understand some things better.
i hope everyone learned something from this camp.

'now that we have knowledge, we must apply it, so that we don't make the same mistakes'
even us form 5's, i think we all have taken something from this camp as well.
taken as in taken knowledge. =p haha.
i think we all learned something in our very own way.
i think we all understand each other slightly better now.
i think we as a team are unstoppable.
i love u peeps. =p i dont even want to think bout leaving high school.
=[
sigh. camp is over......
in a way im happy and sad.
camp is always a place where u get super high and emo. =p
but like i feel like a weight has been lifted.
always thought i wanted to do event managing. but now.. not so sure anymore..
thinking bout wat nat said. and wat che su said. sigh.
ok. bak to reality. exam is next week!~
ah!! save me!! havent even open my bio textbook yet..sei lo...
kk. stop blogging. =p
but first.. me go zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
zz,
b.

Friday, March 13, 2009

POLL

out of 16 votes. miserable 16. =[

Do sheeps go baa or meeh?
18% said baaaa
6% said meeeeh
62% said sheeps go baa and goats go meeh
2 % said black sheeps go baa and white sheeps go meh..

haha. well. i think i will be updating my poll more often. so vote ppl vote.
i'd love to hear ur thoughts on things. =p
and i think i'll try to update the poll at least fortnightly. =p

ok. recent news:
me and sut have decided to become nerds.
we are gonna study every week. =p
this is due to sut freaking out for spm and then freaking me out.
so we made a perjanjian last sat. b4 exams.
and kb is gonna like check up on us.

and we hav like punishments kay.. =p we're serious.
like if we dont meet the quota
we're gonna have to do like house chores.
den its run around padang 5 times during pjk.
den its read a chinese novel
den its speak chinese for a week.

yup. crazy stuff like that. =p
hope it works out.

wanna get like straight a's for spm.
cuz i noe wat its like to feel dissapointed.
and i dont want to be. so yea. =p

waddaya think?

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<-----------------------------

VOTE. =p

exams over.camp!

yay. exams are over..!!! partially..
still hav bio n maths after hols but.anyway.. still yay~~

=p hahaha. dont think i did too well in chem. quite dissapointing for me.
and screw chinese. sigh..

ok..duwan to dwell too much on examsss......

~drum roll~

CAMP! yes the most awesomest prefect camp ever!!!!!!!
if u dont come u are missing out!!! =p haha

i just wanna pray that it doesnt rain for 3 days.
sorry farmers.. but i need good weather!!!!
oh wait. dont think there are farmers in kl. or selangor.wtv.
i just need bright clear shiny preeeettty clouds in the nice LIGHT BLUE sky.

so PRAY EVERYBODY. PRAY!!!!
haha.

sigh... so many things to do.
helping plan/run a camp is like million things to do.
argh. so many things to think of and like prepare.......

weellll..
i hope u ppl have fun at camp la. and like go back saying its the best camp ever. =p

hahahhaa..

GOD PLS DONT LET IT RAIN.............

oh. a small last minute thing to all prefects.
if it rains HEAVILY on monday morn.
come school at 11.30 only and we'll meet at esso kay?
if it drizzles.....COME at the normal time. =p
and we'll all hope that it stops soon. =p

yay. see u all MONDAY.

ITS GONNA BE TOTALLY AWWESOME. =p
and maybe i'll even upload pics from camp. =p
haha.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

WYNNE

i almost forgot.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WYNNE.

you're awesome!!!

=p

Life has its ups and downs.

Lets see. i was quite upset a few days ago.

BUT.......

im so lucky to have so many great frens to turn to, and they really cheered me up.

SOB.........

i just want to say many thanks to u guys. u noe hu u are.

"A friend might well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

i love this quote. learned it from boston legal. =p

anyway. i realise it was dumb to be upset over dumb things. so.
life has so much to offer.
and i dont want to waste time lingering over things i cant change.

anyway. yesterday my church had NO APOLOGIES.
basically, its a sex education talk la.

Here are things i didnt know till yesterday:
1. there are over 50 STD's in the world
2.YOu can still get certain STD's even though you dont have sex, but you fool around.
3. almost everyone regrets having premarital sex(in the video.but i think it applys everywhere)

Why have premarital sex?
you can get STD's, you can get pregnant.

and once you do, you're like throwing your future, your dreams away.
You cant turn back time. You can't cure most STD's.
And if you get pregnant. how?

CONDOMS FAIL. SAFE SEX IS NOT A 100% GUARANTEE.
most condoms dont protect you from STD's.

so best way=ABSTINENCE.

BUt this is just my opinion.
You are welcomed to yours.

Love can be a joke

Heart rate speeds up
Time slows down
You say whats up
Aiks, brainku meltdown

My heart drops to my feet
Each time we meet
You give me a smile
Makes me jump a mile

I'd do anything
To just forget these feelings
Cuz besides you, there's not one thing
that can make my heart go Zing

That flash of realization
That I should be a mental patient
When i want to tell nations
That your my only passion

Beware

Careful with love though
Cuz there's one thing you need to know
It can pack a punch
And your heart goes 'crunch'

Man, Love can be a joke.
dedicated to a dear fren of mine
life will become brighter again some day.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

=(

feels super depressed. =(

Saturday, February 21, 2009

events

well...
yesterday was my mums birthday.

=p.

went out to dinner as usual.
and gave her her present which she really loved.
i would post the pics but u noe me..
lazy.

and today went out with dev again!
she's back for that week.
lol.
the usual fun.
lunch/pool/movie
me lost the game for my side =[
my fault.dumb white ball.

tralalala. all in all..me tak study/do hw/anything
i wanna do well this time.
not just for me
but 4 the rents.

but i doubt im gonna accomplish anything super.
fingers crossed.

finding it.

even as i type this..this is one of the hardest things i have ever had to do.

i apologise. i had apologised.but even then i do not believe i was sincere. but now im sure i am.

i was foolish and dumb.
immature too.
i cringe at my own thoughts as i think back.

as to what i did. what i said.
i cant take them back.

i wish things had turned out different.
that i had chose to think b4 i spoke
that i had chose to walk away instead of doing

i wish i had been more mature.

but really. no regrets.
cuz this is a lesson learned for life.
sorry u had to be my training wheels on my road.

im glad i noe i hav
ppl around me i can trust
ppl around me that i learn from
ppl around me who guide me
ppl around me who pick me up
ppl around me who chastise me
ppl around me who comfort me

when u find these ppl.
dont ever let them go again.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

nothing else to do

ok. not really nothing else to do. got stuff, but im kinda lazy, so im procrastinating.

i've been doing that alot.
lazing around just thinking, but not doing.

so yea. yesterday at dg(yay!), yj was like talking bout what stuff really matters to us and things like that. and he asked us a few questions.

1. what matters to u?
and i realise alot of stuff.
2. what matters most to u?
that narrowed it down.
3.what do u think should matter?
ok. at this part. i only put down like 3 things.

3 ok. 3. i mean. 3.

and den yj and su were saying that even though now she's buying stuff for their new hse and everything, even though they want the best, they always want to check themselves each time, and to make sure that if God asked them to leave it, they will not hesitate. and if they even like hestitate a little, they know that they are hanging on to much to it.

and that really quite spoke to me. i mean, i have lots of stuff i think right now im not willing to give up. so yea.im gonna pray and ask God to help me let it go.

=p yea.

on another note, school....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
oral, kerja amal, tugasan harian.it all come crashing back down now. =[

oh well. gotta stop relaxing.

bak to school.

p.s. wynne, i made the font a lil bigger. if its noticeable. =p

Me

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

i got this from su lin's blog. quite fun. =p

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

hmm

ok. lets see. i really hav no idea how to write this.

i made a mistake. a huge one. and i know there's no easy way to correct it.
so. i will give it my all. but i wont be too upset if it remains a mistake. cuz at least i hav something to look back on. so i wont make stupid mistakes like this in the future.

also. i dont quite understand. how. why. when. what.
im a lil disappointed.bout the way u react. and how u retaliated. a lil childish in my opinion.

haha. u noe wat. i dont think u even understand the whole story. u hear bits and pieces but do u actually understand. the truth becomes so twisted once its passed along many mouths.

i em. apologise.for the way i reacted too. i think i was a lil too defensive and er.said some stuff dat i now regret.

.............

which is worse.
being backstabbed by a best fren?
or being backstabbed by a person who hates u?

anyway. im bak from johor. trip back took 4 hours. due to jam. if not usually 3 hours only.
my dog so good boy on the way back. =p dint complain or make noise.
seasoned traveller liao. =p

haha. took some pics. but not much. i dont really wan2 bother.
there's a funny one of my bro though.
he doesnt care cuz he says no one reads this blog anyway so he wouldnt care if i put it up here.
huh. mean of him. but im too lazy to put it up here.so either way he wins.

sigh

Friday, January 23, 2009

sick

noooo. im losing my voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how can this happen to me. so damn annoyed. first la i have sorethroat fine la. suffer for 2 days.drink lemon and all those nonsense. and den after sorethroat go.

MY VOICE ALSO HAVE TO FOLLOW !?!?!?!

WAT THE...................

sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................

me, sut, chris and aun have signed up for the amazing race chs. =p tee hee.
we like signed up today and everything. and we were like so relaxed cuz we thought we'll sign up after cny only.

den i go bak class ask qm vice pres if the early bird offer still in, den she say yes wor...so me..being kiasu..faster run run ask chris and aun to gimme money so dat we can get the early bird offer. =p

We Made it! =p haha. but. i. had to borrow money pulak. cuz i dint hav enough. haha.

on another note. me and sut were so bored in chem class den we like made a new hand signal.
i cant show u here. but yea. =p i noe. so lame. but thats wat chem does to u.

oh well. cny around the corner. as for me. im balikking tomoro. =p some of my frens ar, leaving tomoro like super early like at 4 AM. swt right.
anyway. wont be blogging for a few days. sigh. am planning on playing mahjong like crazeee though. =p

oh before i forget. wanna remind everyone to like watch the solar eclipse on the 1st day of cny itself. =p starts around 4 30 ish and ends around 7 i think. or 6. in the afternoon la.

oh crap, gotta go bath my dog. or else my parents will refuse to let him go back with us. sigh.

LAter.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

mess

hu knew such a small thing could blossom out into a big thing?

i really did not expect this. and i just dont know what to say anymore.

whatever i say becomes so twisted so fast i dont even noe where the straight begins anymore.

lol. i just hav nothing to say.

i found this. one of my mum's students gave it to her.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

all i can say is AMEN!

seriously. i just realised that i was so down today and i kept asking God for like an answer as to what i should do. and den i came across this! wow! talk about wow! i mean. i felt so much better when i read it. haha. it is kinda of a mixed answer but hu cares. i felt a kind of peace. =o. so.
yea. just wanted to share.

also. i blur blur walked into wrong class today. =p

haha. see i dint bring my bio book. and i noe i dont really listen during bio anyway. so i like bring my physics book with me to bio lab. den i took different road from sut and cn. and i like walked into physics lab.
and bro John. was like Rebecca See, yes? and everyone turned to look at me and i was like huh why like my class sit down so fast one today?and den like one of the guys was like becca, ur class downstairs la. den i was like oh righhhhhht. den i faster back out of the class.

as sut would say:
SO FISH LA..................................... -.-

sigh. see what happens wen u dont pay attention when walking.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

wanna mati liao la

been reading jodi picoult lately.

she's an super interesting writer.makes u think about stuff.

my fav books by her so far have been:
1. nineteen minutes
2. keeping faith
3. my sister's keeper
4. salem falls

ok. just realise i like all of her books la. but the ones that have made me really think are those above la. it really hurts to be betrayed by someone. but den. did u warrant that betrayal? did u in any way like give cause to said betrayal?

i hate. many things. but i believe if anyone were to ask me. hu i hate the most in this world.
one name will really easily come to mind.

but now. i just think la. wat for i waste so much time hating said person?
cuz it= waste of time/brainpower.

so yea. but really not easy to stop hating someone after hating for so long. really hard.

so. step by step. i tried like stopping immediately. turns out worse la. yucks. i really hav to try not to be in her association but i cant help it. i think it'll be easier once i graduate and like go off to college. cuz i so know that we'll definitely be taking different paths. TG.

haha.

everything doesnt hav to be a competition.
everything doesnt hav to be a drama.
everything doesnt hav to be a stage.
everything doesnt hav to be about u.
everything doesnt hav to be about me.
cuz life goes on.
and believe me.
it sucks wasting ur time and later finding out life has left u behind.
so much more life has to offer u.
so much more. riches u can never imagine.
Peace.

haha. nearly forgot something. today eng teacher was like better start preparing for ur oral presentations. den me and sut and kb were like discussing ideas on wat we gonna do. we already decided that like we were gonna do debate cuz teacher was against us doing plays.

so we came up with this topic: Is premarital sex ok?

and den we did like Pros and Cons. and we were kinda fired up about the idea.

and den we go ask teacher. and she was like NO! and u should hav seen her face man wen we brought it up. kinda like a mixture of amused/horrified/stunned.

but i gotta tell u something.she contemplated for a moment ok. haha. she actally considered. but of cuz no la. sigh. and i thought it was a pretty good idea too. =(

oh well. bak to the drawing board i guess.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

crazeeeee

i feel ssoooooooooooooo sstressed. =p

haha. ok i think if i compare to other ppl. i probably arent as stressed as them. but i feel it!!

STRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
planning stuff sucks. i really gotta learn how to balance out my stuff and prioritize if i want to do event planning/hospitality in the future. argh.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

eh caleb

dev wants all of u to email her.she's stressed out cuz her exams like in a week.

so PRAY for her as well. and email her!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

near death experience?

wat exactly constitutes as a near death experience?

for example, lets say u go for a walk. and u see this mangy dog like coming at u. and u think u see foam at his mouth. and u start thinking its rabid. ahh. u cant run anywhere. den the dog gets closer and u see its just like dried saliva and it in fact avoids u like its afraid of u. so for that moment where u thought it was like rabid and wild and crazy, n u thought u were gonna die.

does that count as a near death experience?
hmmmmmmmm.
hard yea?
lol. ok fine. if the above rule applies. den i had a near death experience today. =p hehe. yea. its kinda really a long story. and we kinda like promised each other not to let other ppl noe. cuz it is kinda embarassing. lol. sigh. anyway. really lots of excitement at scul today.
also. me and sut kept arguing whether sheeps go meh or baaaa.
i personally think baaaaaaaaa. but sut thinks meh. i think baaaaa and dat goats go meeeh. so?
haha. yea. so finally we came up with something we both agree with.
BLACK SHEEPS GO BAAAAAA
WHITE SHEEPS GO MEEEEEH
i think its an interesting and good enough compromise for both of us. =p
b.

Friday, January 2, 2009

wth. i hav absolutely no hair sense.

yup. again. i CUT my hair again. and its bad. worse than last time. yuck. yuck. yuck.

sigh. guess u guys will see me soon with new hairstyle. =[

just pls dont laugh. or smirk. or laugh. or smirk.

yup. geez. im a mushroom head. sigh.